The Hangover
by dirtyShoes
Summary: I'm sure, by now, most people have seen The Hangover movies. Well, this is a remake featuring members of the Ranma cast. I recommend only people over the age of 17 read this.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** This is a remake of the movie, _The Hangover,_ featuring members of the Ranma cast. I started it just after seeing the first movie for the first time and then forgot about it soon after. Now, after havning watched the sequel, I must finish this. Hang with me on this one, it starts off slow but gets progressively funnier.

**Disclaimer: ** Ranma and company belong to Takahashi-sama. There, I said it.

_**The Hangover**_

_**Chapter One**_

Tatewaki Kuno folded up one last shirt before laying it in his nearly full suitcase. He then flipped the cover closed, zipped it up, and slid it off of the fluffy white bed before standing it up on the hard wooden floor of his master bedroom.

A pair of slender arms wrapped around his waist, from behind, just before a soft body pressed against his back.

Nabiki gave him a short hug before letting go and giving him a firm smack on the ass. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do," she said, with a wry grin.

Cracking a smile to match Nabiki's, Kuno looked over his shoulder and replied. "You know what they say ... What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

"Yeah, well, just be careful. It's easy to get carried away in that town," she said.

"I know," he said, turning around to face her. "I'm not going to go too wild, though. This trip is to celebrate Tofu's marriage to Kasumi and I intend to focus on making sure he has a good time before he takes the plunge." He leaned down and placed a quick kiss on her forehead as a sign of reassurance.

"By the way," she started, "How did you convince Ranma and Ryoga to come along willingly?"

Kuno's face shifted into a proud smirk. "I simply presented the situation to them in a way that would leave no room for objection."

Nabiki nodded knowingly, giving him an approving smile. "Grasshopper's finally got the hang of it, I see," she said.

"You taught me well, master," he said, giving her a respectful nod. "Perhaps, dare I say, too well?"

Nabiki stifled a small laugh before rolling her eyes at him. "You've got a long way to go before you can truly hang with the best."

"Ah, but I trust you'll guide me in the right direction."

-xx-xx-xx-

"Damn Kuno ... thinks he's so slick just 'cause he was able to guilt me into going ..." Ranma muttered to himself as he haphazardly stuffed his travel pack with balled up clothing. "_'Tofu is your future brother-in-law'_," Ranma said, poorly imitating Kuno's voice. "_'He would be hurt if you didn't come along. Hasn't he always been there when you needed medical help?_'"

Ranma closed the closet door forcefully and heaved the travel pack onto his back. "I'll return the favor, one way or another," he said, with an unscrupulous grin.

-xx-xx-xx-

Ryoga Hibiki tapped his foot impatiently as he stood near the entrance to the Kuno residence. He was still relatively unused to arriving somewhere early, let alone actually finding the correct destination. He wondered if this was what everyone else had felt like while waiting for him to show up. Shrugging off that thought, he replayed Kuno's words in his head, reminding him of why he was there in the first place.

_'You and your family owe Tofu for helping to rid you of your directional problem. Neither of us would be the men we are today if he hadn't intervened in some way. Can't you see that he obviously thinks of us as friends after all that he has done? Let's show him our appreciation.'_

Ryoga sighed. Kuno could be very persuasive when he wanted to be.

-xx-xx-xx-

A black limousine rolled to a stop in front of Tofu's building and sounded the horn. The front door opened and Tofu stepped out, pulling a suitcase behind him. He stopped and turned around to give his bride-to-be a long embrace and passionate kiss before sharing loving words with her.

The chauffeur stood idly by the open trunk, waiting for the couple to finish so he could grab the suitcase and load it.

Kasumi whispered something into Tofu's ear before placing a soft kiss on his cheek and ushering him off. When Tofu turned around to face the limo and it's chauffeur, his glasses where completely fogged over. He walked robotically down to the vehicle and handed his luggage off to the non-descript man before Kuno swung open the rear door for him to enter.

"Hey, buddy, ready for a fun filled weekend?" Kuno asked, energetically. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked, waving a hand in front of the older man's foggy spectacles.

"Hm, that's weird," Ryoga said from his seat. "I haven't seen him like that in years."

Tofu shook himself out of his daze and removed his glasses to better see the rich man and former lost boy sitting across from him. "What are we waiting for? We need to hurry and get going so we can get back already!" he said with wild eyes. "She's gonna ... oh god ... she's so hot ..." he trailed off, swallowing the lump in his throat while sweating profusely.

"Whoa, relax," Kuno said, reaching for the mini bar off to the side and removing a bottle of expensive looking liquor. "Here, this will mellow you out," he said offering his friend a small glass filled with amber liquid and ice cubes.

Tofu reluctantly accepted the glass before downing its contents in one gulp. "Thanks," he said, handing the empty glass back with shaky hands.

"Yeah, no problem. Look, I know it's a lot to ask, but I want you to try and go with the flow this weekend. Just forget about all of your worries and responsibilities for two whole days and I guarantee you'll have a good time."

"We want you to have the full bachelor experience, even if it's only just for this trip," Ryoga said, with a sincere smile.

"Guys, I really appreciate the thought, but I don't think I would feel comfortable doing some of the ... _things_ bachelors are famous for, considering I'm engaged to be married and I'm leaving my beautiful Kasumi-chan home all by herself."

"Tofu, this is an age old tradition that would be like ... _blasphemy_, if a man were to refuse it. Besides, I doubt Kasumi is going to be at home, or lonely," Ryoga started. "Her sisters probably already have a surprise bachelorette party planned for her anyway. For all you know, the Tendo house could be overrun with a bunch of wasted girlfriends throwing money at male strippers sometime this weekend."

Tofu paled at the thought.

"I think what he's trying to say, is that it can't hurt to cut loose once in your life. I, personally, think you should go wild just to get it out of your system so you can get married without any regrets," Kuno said.

Tofu furrowed his brow in contemplation before reaching a conclusion. "I'll try my best to keep up with you guys," he said, reluctantly. "But I can't promise you anything," he added.

"That's good enough for me," Kuno said. "Let's roll!"

-xx-xx-xx-

Ranma was over the wall as soon as the limo pulled up to the Tendo residence. He didn't even give the chauffeur a chance to step out of the vehicle and threw his own luggage into the trunk the moment the lid was popped.

"Hurry up guys!" Ranma said, slamming the door behind him. "Akane's gonna blow! We gotta get as far away from here as fast as we can! You hear that driver-san? If you don't step on it, we're all in deep shit!"

"Rrrrrraaaaannmaaaaaaaghhhhh!"

"Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK! Let's go already!" Ranma yelled.

The very next moment, all four passengers got to experience a burnout from the backseats of a limo. "Don't warry 'mates," came the distinctly Australian accent of the chauffeur. "Oye used ta be ah circuit raycer beck in mah day. Oye even rayced against tha grayt Drift Kang, Keiichi Tsuchiya, 'imself. Ahll 'ave you there in no time."

The four passengers shared slightly spooked glances with one another before Ranma broke the silence. "Who the hell is the drift kang? Are we supposed to feel safe because he knows some guy we've never heard of?"

"Actually, Keiichi Tsuchiya is a world famous professional driver regarded as the 'Drift King' because he popularized the sport to which his nickname is a reference," Kuno dutifully supplied.

"Thanks for that useless tidbit of trivia," Ranma quipped.

"Seriously, guys, I'm starting to get motion sick," Ryoga said.

"Hey, Steve, slow it down for us a bit would you?" Kuno asked.

"Aye, sir!" was the Australian chauffeur's reply.

"Hahaha, the big bad piggy has a weak stomach!" Ranma laughed.

Ryoga didn't glare angrily back or come up with a suitable retort, but he did manage to projectile vomit onto Ranma's clothes.

"Whoa!" Kuno yelled.

"Aw, shit! What the fuck man? That's disgusting!" Ranma yelled before hastily removing the offending garments and tossing them at Ryoga's face. "That was my favorite outfit!"

"Heh, serves you right," Ryoga said before tossing the soiled Chinese clothes out of the nearest window.

"Hey, asshole, I never said you could throw those away!"

"It's your own fault for giving them to me then," Ryoga replied with a smirk.

"Well, if you hadn't yakked all over me, then I-"

"Guys," Tofu interrupted, "can we all just settle down? I don't want to break up a fight, but I will if I have to."

"Fine," Ryoga sighed. "As long as Ranma stops acting like a douche and puts on some clothes. God, you're disgusting," he added, glaring at his long time rival.

"One more word and I swear," Ranma threatened, making a fist.

"Hey, Kuno, can I get some water or something?" Ryoga asked. "I gotta get this bad taste outta my mouth."

"Sorry, pal, this bar doesn't stock water," Kuno replied. "I've got six different kinds of liquor and a twelve pack of Asahi, though."

"I'll take an Asahi," Ryoga replied shortly before catching the can that was tossed to him. He popped the tab and quickly inhaled the domestic brew. "Ah, that's better," he said before releasing a hearty belch.

-xx-xx-xx-

The quartet filed out of the limo while Steve, the chauffeur, unloaded the luggage from the trunk and onto the pavement in front of the small twin engine jet. Kuno, first, followed by Ryoga, Tofu, and Ranma, now clad in a crisp charcoal suit similar to Kuno's, grabbed their respective bags before bidding farewell to Tokyo and climbing up the short steps onto the aircraft. Within minutes, they were up in the air.

Ranma propped his feet up on the wooden coffee table in front of him, after reclining his leather chair, and admired his shiny new patent leather shoes. Sitting directly across from him were Kuno and Ryoga, in similar reclining chairs. Tofu sat in a chair adjacent to his. Kuno had been sipping a cup of tea while casually flipping through a business magazine before his feet took over the table.

"Hey, Kuno, how come you never told us you had a private jet?" Ranma asked, folding his arms over his chest.

"You never asked," was the non-chalant reply.

"It's not that hard to believe, actually," Ryoga started. "I mean, it was his _private sailboat_," he stressed the words, "that crashed on that island the time we got caught up in that mess with little Prince Toma on Togenkyo. It only makes sense that he would have a private jet, too."

"Did I ask for your opinion, pork breath?" Ranma asked, glaring at the fanged man across from him. "I still haven't forgot about what you did to my last pair of Chinese silks."

"Stop acting like a whiny little bitch and get over it already," Ryoga said. "Besides, I did you a favor by getting rid of those smelly old rags. I can't believe you actually planned to wear those to Vegas. You know, maybe nobody else has the guts to tell you, but I think you need to hear this. You're a washed up loser who's stuck living in the past because he's too afraid to man up and face the reality of the present. You just can't accept the fact that your peak ended early, and you're still only twenty-three to boot. I can't believe I used to envy you."

"_I'm_ living in the past? I know for a fact that you still visit Akane as P-Chan, you piece of shit!" Ranma spat. "And I can still mop the floor with you blindfolded _and_ with one hand tied behind my back!"

"For your information, I haven't visited her in over six months and I stopped peeping on her years ago! I just feel bad that she has to be stuck in the same house as you, taking care of two drunk old men instead of pursuing her dreams! She resents you Ranma! That's why she won't sleep in the same room as you, or let you touch her! That's right, I know all about what goes on in that house! Should I say it out loud so everyone can hear?" he asked, a spiteful glare on his face. "Ranma's still a virgin!"

"Shut your fucking mouth before I shut it for you!" Ranma shouted, rising from his seat.

"You guys need to chill already," Kuno said. "Sit back down before you scare the pilot with all the shouting. Or do you actually _want_ us all to crash and burn?"

"I'm really disappointed with you two," Tofu said, a scowl replacing his usually cheerful features. "Apparently, neither of you have done enough growning up. Is it too much to ask to put aside your petty differences and enjoy a vacation in Las Vegas for a couple of days? Or is a simple _challenge_ like that too much for a couple of old rivals to handle?"

Ranma clenched his fists before dissolving the visible aura that had begun to manifest around him. He fell back into his seat and took a few calming breaths before looking Ryoga directly in the eyes. "There's no challenge too great for me," he said.

Ryoga rolled his eyes before cracking a peculiar grin. "Are you calling me out?" he asked.

"What do you think?" Ranma asked.

Ryoga sighed. "Alright, I'm game."

"Good, I expect you guys to take this challenge seriously," Tofu said. "You can fight all you want when we get back, but not a moment sooner, understood?"

The rivals nodded in agreement.

Kuno sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose in an attempt to ease the growing migrane that threatened to make the entire flight unpleasant. He reached into his suit jacket, pulled out a flask, and carefully added some of it's contents to the cup of tea resting on his coffee table.

-xx-xx-xx-

"Ceasar's Palace ..." Tofu trailed off, awed by the over the top extravagance of the architecture.

"That's right," Kuno said, leading the pack through the glass doors and into the lobby. "Nothing but the best for you, pal. Wait until you see where we'll actually be staying."

Ranma and Ryoga trailed behind, wordlessly admiring the scenery, until all four came up to the check-in counter. Kuno leaned against the polished counter top and rang the service bell, which was quickly followed by a professional looking, yet attractive, young woman approaching with a friendly smile.

_**"Good evening, gentlemen**__,__**"**_ she said. _**"Will you be checking in?"**_

_**"Yes, I have a reservation. Kuno, party of four, for a penthouse suite,"**_ he replied in perfect English.

_**"Wow, you're really going all out for this, huh?"**_Ryoga asked him, in slightly accented English.

_**"You didn't have to do this much. I really appreciate it, though,"**_ Tofu said, also in slightly accented English.

"What the hell are you guys talking about? Am I the only one who can't speak English here?" Ranma asked, clearly caught off guard.

_**"Is your friend alright?"**_ the young woman asked.

_**"Yeah, he's just an empty headed idiot who doesn't know English. Isn't that right, pal?"**_ Ryoga replied, patting Ranma on the back in a friendly manner.

Ranma hadn't understood half of what Ryoga had just said, but played along nonetheless and put on a strained smile in an attempt to appear friendly. When the young woman behind the counter stifled a short giggle, he had the sinking feeling she was laughing at him.

"You better not be making fun of me," Ranma threatened.

_**"What did he say? He looks kind of upset,"**_ the young woman said, suddenly feeling very guilty for slipping up like that. _**"Oh, I didn't mean to laugh like that."**_

"Come on, buddy, I would _never_ do that to you," Ryoga said, in a less than honest tone. _**"My friend says he finds you extremely attractive,"**_ he said to the young woman. _**"He would like to know what time your shift is over so you two can get together, if you know what I mean,"**_ he said, wagging his eyebrows at her.

The young woman looked momentarily shocked before a visible blush crossed her face. _**"I'm sorry, sir, but please tell your friend I would appreciate it if he refrained from asking such inappropriate questions, as it is against hotel policy for employees to fraternize with guests,"**_ she replied, dutifully and professionally, before unconsciously giving Ranma an appraising look over while biting her bottom lip.

"What did you say to her? Why is she looking at me like that?" Ranma asked.

_**"Quit messing with him, Ryoga,"**_ Tofu warned.

Kuno, at least, found it mildly amusing and raised an eyebrow in Ryoga's direction, before clearing his throat and drawing everyone's attention away from Ryoga's little game. _**"Miss, may I have the room keys?"**_

_**"Oh, yes, sorry about that,"**_she said, reaching under the counter and fidgeting around with something for a few moments before bringing up two paper brochures with card keys taped to the front covers. _**"Here you are." **_

_**"Thanks,"**_Kuno said, accepting the keys before turning to leave.

_**"Enjoy your stay,"**_she said, her eyes lingering on Ranma a bit longer than they should have as they walked away.

_**"Thanks, we will,"**_ Ryoga replied, waving back at her from over his shoulder.

"Man, I hate not understanding what people are saying," Ranma sighed dejectedly as they approached the shiny elevators. "At least in China I had a clue."

"Don't worry about it," Kuno said, leading the way into the roomy lift. "Just stick close to one of us at all times and you'll be alright. You don't have to know much English to have a good time here, anyway."

"He's right," Ryoga agreed. "You can get by with a few simple phrases like _**'More beer, please'**__, '__**Damn, baby, you're really hot'**__, __**'I love this town'**__, _or even _**'I like hunky American men'**_."

Ranma quirked an eyebrow before taking a crack at it himself. _"_**' I like ... hunky ... American ... men?' **How was that? Good?"

Ryoga clapped his hands quickly, mocking enthusiasm. "That was great! You'll have it mastered in no time! See, guys, I'm being nice and teaching him English," he said, struggling to keep from bursting with laughter.

Tofu shot Ryoga a warning glare while Kuno turned away to cover his face and laugh quietly to himself.

Ryoga sighed. "Okay, you might want to leave that last part out, but the first three are pure gold, got it?"

"Uh, I think?" Ranma replied, unsure of himself.

"Don't worry, just repeat those phrases in your head and you'll be ready by the time we start hitting the bars and casinos," Ryoga assured.

"Yeah, okay," Ranma said, hoping it wasn't another trick.

"Ah, this is our floor," Kuno said.

After a short walk through spacious halls, the four came to a halt in front of sturdy looking double doors. Kuno fumbled with the brochures, trying to peel a card key off of one, when a small folded paper slipped out of one of the pages and fluttered to the floor. Curious, Ranma picked it up and unfolded it, only to find out that he couldn't read a word of it.

"Here, let me see," Ryoga said, before snatching it and reading it for himself. "No way," he said, in disbelief, as he read it.

By now, Kuno had succeeded in unlocking the door and had already entered, followed by Tofu.

"What does it say?" Ranma asked, currently more interested in the note then the luxurious penthouse that lay before him.

"Vanessa's shift ends at ten o' clock tonight," Ryoga said.

"Who's Vanessa?" Ranma asked.

"She's that girl who works down in the lobby," Ryoga said, appearing lost in thought.

"Huh, why would she leave a note like that?" Ranma asked.

Ryoga seemed to have come to some sort of silent conclusion because he stopped spacing out shortly before looking Ranma directly in the eye. "It's for you," Ryoga said. "She really likes you and wants to get together with you when her shift is over."

"What? You're shitting me, right?" Ranma asked. "I may not know English, but even _I'm_ not stupid enough to fall for that. Nice try," he said before leaving Ryoga in favor of exploring the massive suite.

"Hey, wait up, I'm being serious this time!" Ryoga said, following his rival.

-xx-xx-xx-

The four men stood near the floor to ceiling window overlooking the strip, all clad in crisp slacks, buttoned shirts, and similary styled blazers. Each held a shot glass in their hands filled with a clear liquid. Kuno raised his glass first, prompting the rest to do the same.

"Gentlemen, a toast," Kuno started. "To our friend, Tofu. May tonight be filled with good times that will leave a lasting impression on our soon to be married comrade. This might very well be the only chance you have to go buck wild, my friend. I suggest you take advantage of it to the fullest extent."

"Here, here," Ryoga said, before all four inhaled their shots.

Ranma stepped aside to grab the bottle of _Everclear_ from the glass table behind him before returning and refilling everyone's glasses, but not before he took a swig straight from the bottle.

"I've got something I want to say," Ranma started. "Guys, we've come a long way and I can honestly say that I never thought I would be standing here in a penthouse in Vegas, with two assholes and one friend. Tofu, you know who you are. But, let me finish, that's not necessarily a bad thing. We go way back and, if I really think about it, this will actually be the first time the four of us, as a group, have done any sort of activity with nothing on the line but having a good time. So, for tonight, I say fuck the past! Let's get this party started, yeah!" he shouted, prompting everyone to swallow their shots.

"Guys," Tofu said after finishing his shot. "I'm glad we decided to do this. I just want you all to know that I think of you three as the little brothers I never had."

"I'll drink to that!" Kuno said, holding his glass out for Ranma to refill.

The four each took two more shots before Ryoga spoke up. "Ranma, pal, I'm sorry for what I said earlier today. I know it's no walk in the park for you being stuck there either. If you look past all the bravado, I guess, you're not so bad. Tofu, you're the most generous and selfless guy I know. You're always helping people without expecting anything in return. Kuno, shit, you're just a rich bastard ... but you're _our _rich bastard, so fuck it!"

"Yeah!" all four shouted, raising their glasses above their heads before pounding one last shot.

Ranma looked at the empty bottle before shrugging and tossing it over his shoulder, before it broke into pieces on the floor. Ryoga wrapped an arm around Ranma's shoulders in a 'buddy' gesture.

"Don't worry, pal," Ryoga said. "I won't let you leave Vegas without getting laid first. It's a promise."

xxx-xxx-xxx

**To Be Continued ...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary:** This is a remake of the movie, _The Hangover,_ featuring members of the Ranma cast. I started it just after seeing the first movie, for the first time, and then forgot about it soon after. Now, after havning watched the sequel, I must finish this. Hang with me on this one, it starts off slow but gets progressively funnier.

**Disclaimer: ** Ranma and company belong to Takahashi-sama. There, I said it.

_**The Hangover**_

_**Chapter Two**_

Sunlight filtered through the partially drawn curtains of the room that Ryoga was currently regaining consciousness in. He groaned as he slowly cracked open his eyelids and rolled over to get the sunlight out of his face. Unfortunately, he rolled right off of the bed before landing on top of someone else.

"Ugh ... what the fuck?" Ranma-chan groaned as she came to and saw Ryoga's barely conscious gaze inches from her own.

They were both momentarily frozen in place as the situation, and the mess around them, registered in their heads. Ranma was a girl, on her back, with Ryoga on top, and both of them were clad in only their boxers and socks. There was a blow up doll sticking halfway out from under the bed and it had a purple dildo hanging out of its mouth hole. There was also a lacy black thong strewn across a cluster of empty bottles on the floor near Ranma's head.

Ranma shoved her rival off of her chest at the same time as he tried to pull himself up and the two of them darted to opposite ends of the room before glaring at each other. They both immediately pointed fingers at each other and shouted "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Ryoga insisted angrily. "I don't even remember anything from last night!"

"Then why are there ... oh god ... there are used condoms all over this place ..." Ranma observed as the color drained out of her face and she felt a wave of nausea wash over her.

Ryoga's eyes grew wide as he noticed it too but quickly shook it off in favor of blaming Ranma. "This is _YOUR_ fault, Saotome!"

"_MY_ fault?" Ranma screamed. "You're the man in this situation! How dare you take advantage of me like that! I'm gonna kill you!" she shouted before lunging forward. In her freshly hungover state, she managed to stumble over a few empty bottles and knock over an end table with a lamp on it before clashing with Ryoga in the center of the room.

The two of them engaged in a flurry of fists and feet that caused a miniature windstorm to kick up inside of the room. Their confrontation quickly shifted to grappling when Ranma flipped Ryoga onto the floor and pulled him into an armbar with the intention of snapping his elbow. Ryoga, having the advantage in strength, twisted his body and picked her up in an attempt to slam her back down onto the floor. Ranma was too quick to fall for that but she had to release him in order to avoid the slam. She landed on her feet with just enough time to retaliate before Ryoga regained enough footing, though.

In slow motion, Ranma's right foot came back in preparation for the strike before sailing on a low and straight path ... right into Ryoga's groin.

The fanged young man howled in pain as his dangly bits were violently jarred. His knees immediately buckled and he fell onto his back. "That's ... not ... fair," Ryoga growled at the red headed woman standing above him.

"Hey, it's Anything Goes, remember?" Ranma replied with a shrug as she placed a socked foot on his abdomen to keep him down.

"It was a ... cheap shot, "Ryoga said through gritted teeth. "No honorable man ... ever kicks another man ... there!"

"It's your own fault, asshole!" Ranma spat. "I don't even know if I can ever stand to look at myself in the mirror as a man again after what's happened here! Anyway, you've clearly made a woman out of me so I don't have to abide by that rule if I don't want to!" she added before lowering her foot and grinding it into Ryoga's injured groin. "I should cut it off ..."

Ryoga's eyes widened in horror upon hearing his long time rival utter those evil words. He swallowed the dry lump in his throat as his eyes zoned out into the slowly dissipating swirl of papers and debris that had been kicked up by their fight. He closed his eyes in resignation and began to conjure up his depression ki as a piece of note paper fluttered down to land on his face. He reopened his eyes when he felt Ranma's hand lift the note off of his face.

Ranma slowly released her foot from Ryoga's groin as she read the note. It was in english, which was nearly impossible for her to understand, but she did recognize one thing at the end. A name. The note had been left by that girl who worked at the hotel's front desk. Her name was Vanessa, Ranma recalled. It was signed with her name and several small heart shapes. For a brief moment, the fog in Ranma's brain cleared just enough for her to see a mental image of the concierge girl in lacey black lingerie. Her eyes immediately darted around the room until she located the thong.

"Ryoga, read this for me would ya?" Ranma asked as she leaned over and shoved the note into his face.

Ryoga reluctantly took the note and read it aloud. "Hey there, my wild horse man. Sorry I left without saying anything but I have to work the morning shift at my second job today. I'll be back again tonight if you feel like partying some more. You were a real beast last night. That little red head you were hiding up your sleeve was an animal too. You sure know how to satisfy a lady. See you later, sexy. Love, Vanessa. P.S. My panties are yours to keep if you want them."

Ranma's eyes glazed over as a goofy grin spread across her face. "I did that ... with her?"

"From the look of it, you and her got into some freaky shit too. Is that blow up doll wearing a strap-on?" Ryoga asked. "Anyway, congratulations on being devirginized. Am I off the hook now, or what?"

"Yeah, I suppose," Ranma replied before giving Ryoga room to get back up. "But, then, why did we both wake up in the same room?"

"Take a look around, Ranma," Ryoga said. "This is _MY _room. The only thing I can think of is that you and your new girlfriend were too drunk to find _YOUR _room so you had to steal mine to have your little sex party. I probably came in after it was all over and passed out drunk without noticing the mess or you on the floor."

"I guess that makes sense," Ranma said. "Why can't I actually remember what happened last night, though? I finally get a girl in the sack and my mind decides to reward me with amnesia."

"I don't know what to tell you, dude," Ryoga said. "Tough luck, I guess. Now, if you don't mind, I'm getting my clothes back on and you might want to do the same before somebody walks in on-"

"Hey, what the hell was all that racket?" Kuno asked as he walked into the room, looking quite groggy. Kuno's eyes widened considerably before he turned on his heel and left while muttering to himself, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas ..."

"Hey! It's not what it looks like!" Ranma insisted as she ran out of the room after their host to do some damage control. She was still topless.

She stumbled to a halt when she caught sight of the living room area. It was completely thrashed. There was a broken guitar laying on one of the overturned sofas to her left and pieces of a drum set scattered across the tiled floor beyond that. There was also a pile of smouldering wood in the middle of the room from what looked like an old bonfire. Ranma also couldn't help but notice that there was cash scattered all over the place. And was that a bong on the breakfast bar? Kuno stood beside her as they both marveled silently at the mess they had apparently made.

"Do you remember doing any of this?" Ranma asked the rich guy to her right.

"Can't say that I do," he replied with a shrug. "Ah, well, I can afford whatever its going to cost to fix it up so there's no need to worry. Go get Tofu up so we can all grab breakfast and worry about this later. I'm starving."

"If you say so ..." Ranma trailed off as she took off walking toward the good doctor's room. When she got there she didn't have to worry about knocking on his door since the entire wall seperating his bedroom from the rest of the penthouse was missing. "Hey, Kuno, he's not in his room. But check out what happened over here."

Ryoga had finally finished dressing and followed Kuno when Ranma called him over. He let out an appreciate whistle upon seeing the destroyed wall. "Must've been some wild party, eh guys?"

"Yeah, no doubt," Kuno agreed.

"Ranma, why are you still walking around topless?" Ryoga asked. "Geez, man, cover those things up for crying out loud. What an eyesore ..."

"If they're such an eyesore, then quit looking, perv," Ranma retorted.

"I can't help it, all right?" Ryoga replied in exasperation. "It's a hard wired male reaction to stare at tits and it works the same on you as it does on any other girl, no matter how hard I remind myself of who you are. You should know better than to show 'em off."

"That's gross, Ryoga! It's still me in here, ya know?"

"Um ... he does have a point there, Ranma," Kuno added. "It's a little ... what's the word ..."

"Distracting as all hell, is what it is," Ryoga finished for him. "How would you like it if Akane acted so casual around you while flaunting her half naked body when you were trying to focus on something else?"

"I'd probably stop whatever it was I was trying to do so I could give it to her right there on the spot," Ranma replied with a dirty grin on her face. "Man, what I wouldn't give to see her tits bouncing up and down right now. Come to think of it, I've never felt more relaxed in my life. Who knew sex could be such a stress reliever?"

"See what I mean? Seeing tits leads to fantasizing about doing things with them, you dumbass. And the last thing I want is to start daydreaming about that sort of thing because of you," Ryoga said.

"Ew! You were starting to have fantasies about me weren't you?" Ranma accused while pointing a finger at him.

"I was _NOT_! I was just trying to make a _POINT_!" Ryoga argued.

"Well, keep your _POINT _away from me or else I'll really cut it off this time!" Ranma replied before storming off in the direction of her room.

"Lovers quarrel?" Kuno supplied after stifling a short laugh.

"Fuck off," Ryoga replied before walking toward the double doors of the penthouse's entryway.

"Ok, well, while I'm doing that, would you mind keeping an eye out for Tofu since you seem to be going out for fresh air? I get the feeling he must already be up and about since yours and Ranma's pillow fight didn't draw his attention. Thanks, pal. I'm counting on you."

Ryoga replied by slamming the doors behind him on his way out.

xxx-xxx-xxx

**To Be Continued ...**


End file.
